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Thursday, 18 February 2016

The Letter!

My latest story..Find out how Rhea made her 30th Birthday special..Published on Soulgasm..



Few more hours to go before Rhea would turn 30 and she was concerned. “30” hits you hard you know. Suddenly you are out of the “youngistan” league and can’t even tell people that you are in your late 20’s. Even if you feel young inside, crazy aunties and the sarcastic world around you will make you feel as if it’s end of life; as if you are the only one who has turned 30 for the first time ever and you have nothing left to achieve. Suddenly the “womanish” attitude overshadows the “girly” streaks in you, psychologically though, and you are ready to be another replica of your mom, masi or any other boring, “gyan showering” oldie!!

But these were not what bothered Rhea. She has never been affected by superficial factors like “getting aged”, “getting fat”, “having pimples” and bla bla bla! The only thing that was eating her up from within was the fact that “turning 30” meant half a life spent. Even worse, “half a life spent living on other people’s terms”.

“It’s time to reconcile my real self with reality, my existence”, Rhea’s inner voice told her as she was waiting at the station to catch her train to Delhi for a teachers’ training programme. She has been going for these monotonous duty trips for the past 5-6 years but still couldn’t develop a mere liking for them. But this time it was not just boredom that irked her. Her constant fidgeting with her earrings, hair and other silly little things indicated towards something beyond her normal dislike.

She reopened her mailbox. In the last five days she has browsed her Gmail account a number of times that anyone wouldn’t be able to do in even a month! Reason being a particular mail that acted as an uninvited trigger; something which had the potential of being her life changer. It was a mail from Shaimak Davar Dance Institute calling her for an audition for a paid internship position. Her repeated mails to them with attached dance videos, secretly taken at everyone’s absence, were finally answered after years. And unknowingly, the mail acted as a huge perturbation in her otherwise commoner’s life. It was a “Karma vs Dharma” situation for her and it pulled out all the naked emotions, frustrations and complaints that were carefully suppressed so far.

For the last few days she gave her neurons enough stress thinking over whether to be happy or sad for receiving the offer. Happy, as her “secret passion for dance” saw the light of the day and sad, as she may not even pursue it further. But the almighty had plans for making Rhea’s 30th Birthday special!

She opened her mailbox, but this time to compose the most bold and controversial mail she has ever written. For she felt it was important to let her closed ones know that she was going to step into the forbidden land where except her own terms and conditions, everything else was blurred!



Statutory warning: I am going to sound paradoxical; so both of you, before reading this mail, please pull yourselves together!!

Papa,

You have been a loving father but only then, when I have followed your instructions religiously. Your typical “sarkari babu” type attitude has always scared both Ma and me to death. It was all fear for you and not respect that made me obey you. You never realized that having friendly conversations with you would have made me more content than your lavish materialistic gifts (more of a show off for me though!). You made me do all that you wanted to, but couldn’t achieve in your life. In the whole process you forgot that I was not you but a different individual. I didn’t like taking singing and art classes, felt suicidal when I had to take up science at higher secondary school level and have got bored to death while teaching my students fake ideologies that I myself don’t believe in. All I wanted to do was to learn dancing and pursue it as a profession as well. When I gathered courage to confront you about my passion, you married me off to even a bigger control freak entity, Pradeep. You checked his job security, character certificate, salary slip, family background but forgot the most important thing Papa. You didn’t even care to check his compatibility with me. Rather it must not have occurred to you at all.

To cut all these short, you have failed as a father and I am sorry that I had to break your heart like this. This was important.

Pradeep,

From the above revelation you must have understood by now, that I am not at all happy with you. First and foremost, I am not at all a “Sati Savitri” type girl that you think me to be. If you ever cared to be friends with me, at least you would have known the real me. Please accept my apologies for faking it with you till now, but I had no choice. I tried a lot but just couldn’t grow an iota of feelings for you. All this while both you and I have only given importance to your feelings, your needs, your family (still YOUR FAMILY as you people couldn’t make me feel otherwise). There was only “you” in the relationship and not us. You can never own me and thus don’t waste your energy in doing so. I have always neglected my emotional and materialistic needs just for the sake of keeping peace in our marriage and lives. But I realized that I was being highly wrong as it was not only my responsibility but yours as well. You have been more of a dictator than a husband and our marriage is a failed one, needless to say!!!

Papa and Pradeep,

I know both of you are shocked and may be hurt too. But I don’t care anymore. Till today I have bottled up my feelings; but today, my 30th birthday, seems to be the perfect day for getting things out of my system. You must be having one question in mind that what led me to come out of my shell?! I strongly believe it has been scripted like this. I have been secretly going to dance classes all this while and have got an opportunity to pursue my dreams of making it big. To your dismay, I am heading towards that. This is for your info and your consent is just not needed anymore. You might be thinking that I have lost it completely and I don’t even want to reason with you two; as I know it will fall on deaf ears. I really hope both of you can cope up with this unexpected situation of losing control over me.

Rhea”






She signed out from her Gmail account and the station too. With a newly found freedom, courage and self-confidence, she headed towards the airport to take the next flight to the city of her dreams, Mumbai.

Rhea: Till now, I have always avoided confrontations just to maintain peace and not to hurt anyone. But today…

Her inner voice: But what about your inner peace?? Haven’t you hurt yourself the most in doing so?

Rhea: I know! I am happy that finally I am going to be myself, but I am scared too. It’s going to be tough…

Her inner voice: You have taken the easy path of obeying others so far. All you have been is unhappy. Isn’t it worth to follow your heart, however tough that is, and be happy?

Rhea: Yes, it is!

She knew it was going to be a difficult path for her, but she was all game for it; for, it was the first time that her heart and mind were in sync. She took 30 long years to make this happen.



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